Saint Joan
by AJ6
Summary: The arrival of Lynda's meddlesome sister disrupts the Hansen household and puts yet another crack in Joanie's already fragile self esteem. Elsewhere, Syd tries to help a young boy who is tormented at school becuase of his innability to read.


PROVIDENCE  
"Saint Joan"  
  
  
  
  
  
TEASER  
  
FADE IN  
  
INT. HANSEN HOUSE - DAY - SYD'S DREAM  
  
SYDNEY enters the foyer to find numerous STRANGERS scrurrying about, frantically cleaning everything in sight.  
  
LYNDA walks down the stairs with yet another stranger, rattling off instructions...  
  
LYNDA  
Now I want everything spic and span before she arrives. And could we get a little more air freshner in this place! It still smells like a zoo in here.  
(spotting Sydney)  
Sydney! Where have you been?  
  
SYDNEY  
Mom, what are all these people doing in our house.  
  
LYNDA  
They are cleaning dear.  
  
SYDNEY  
I can see that! Why?  
  
JOANIE enters the foyer from the kitchen.  
  
JOANIE  
Mom!  
  
LYNDA  
Joanie, how did it go? Is Ritchie coming down?  
  
SYDNEY  
(confused)  
Ritchie?  
  
JOANIE  
I tried. He can't make it this week.  
  
LYNDA  
Well, try harder! You can't have the perfect family without the father. Now go!  
  
Joanie nods and rushes off.  
  
Sydney opens her mouth to speak but is interrupted by ROBBIE who comes rushing down the stairs. He has a frantic look about him as he rushes to his mother - his arms filled with PICTURES OF TINA AND PETE.  
  
LYNDA  
There you are sweetheart. Did you collect all the evidence?  
  
ROBBIE  
I think so!  
  
Sydney looks at what he is carrying.  
  
SYDNEY  
Robbie, those are all your pictures of Tina and Pete. What are you doing?  
  
ROBBIE  
(Frantically)  
I'm hiding them! She can't know! She won't approve! She'll ruin everything!  
  
He rushes off.  
  
Sydney turns to her mother.  
  
SYDNEY  
OK, Robbie and Joanie are freaking out. What is going on?  
  
LYNDA  
No one told you?  
  
SYDNEY  
Told me what?  
  
DOORBELL RINGS  
  
Everyone stops what they are doing and looks toward the door. There is COMPLETE SILENCE.  
  
LYNDA  
(whipsering)  
She's here.  
  
SYDNEY  
Who's here?  
  
LYDNA  
Good luck dear. I have to go. I've done all I can. Take care of your brother and sister.  
  
SYDNEY  
Mom, wait! Who's here?  
  
Lynda rushes off.  
  
SYDNEY  
(Panicked)  
Mom!  
  
ALARM CLOCK SOUNDS  
  
INT. SYDNEY'S GUESTHOUSE - MORNING  
  
SYDNEY sits up in her bed quickly and looks around-confused.  
  
FADE OUT  
  
  
  
ACT 1  
  
FADE IN:  
  
INT. HANSEN KITCHEN - MORNING  
  
JOANIE is at the kitchen counter, packing Hannah's lunch bag.   
  
HANNAH is seated on ROBBIE's lap at the kitchen table. She giggles as she picks dry cheerios from her bowl and feeds them to her uncle.  
  
JOANIE  
Hannah, eat your cereal. Robbie has his own food!  
  
She flashes Robbie a disapproving look as SYNDEY enters through the backdoor.  
  
SYDNEY  
Good morning!  
  
She walks over and kisses Hannah on the head.  
  
SYDNEY  
Hello sweetie.  
  
Hannah smiles and holds up a cheerio for her aunt.  
  
SYDNEY  
Ooh, for me?  
(taking the cereal in her mouth)  
Thank you!  
  
JIM enters from the hallway.  
  
JIM  
Oh good, I'm glad you're all here. I wanted to talk to you.  
  
JOANIE  
Well, not for long. I have to get Hannah dressed for school. What's up?  
  
JIM  
I just wanted to let you all know that your Aunt Joan is coming to Providence for a few days.  
  
Joanie, Sydney and Robbie let out a collective groan.  
  
JIM  
Oh, come on now kids. This is your mother's sister and she is really looking forward to seeing you guys again. After all, she hasn't seen you since...  
(thinking)  
Robbie's graduation was the last time she was here I think.  
  
ROBBIE  
Oh, and that's our fault?  
  
Joanie sits down next to Robbie and takes Hannah from his lap.  
  
JOANIE  
Yeah Dad! She didn't even show up for Mom's funeral.  
  
JIM  
Well, in all fairness to your aunt, she didn't know about your mother's passing until after the funeral - remember? She was vacationing in the south of France somewhere and we couldn't track her down.  
  
JOANIE  
Oh that's right! That's why she couldn't make it to my wedding.  
(rolling her eyes in disgust)  
I guess a personal vacation is just more important than your niece's wedding.  
  
JIM  
(annoyed)  
Well, I can see that you kids are very excited about this and I haven't even told you the best part yet.  
  
SYDNEY  
What would that be?  
  
JIM  
I've invited her to stay here. She'll be staying in the guest house Syd so you'll have to bunk with Joanie for a few days.  
  
Jim turns and heads toward the basement door. When he reaches the hallway, he turns back to his children.  
  
JIM  
Oh, your aunt will be here at 5:00 and if you all know what's good for you, you will be here and...  
(to Robbie)  
...on your best behavior.  
  
ROBBIE  
(to Joanie and Syd)  
Why does he always look at me when he says that?  
  
Jim smiles at his children.  
  
JIM  
Have a nice day kids. See you at 5:00.  
  
  
  
  
INT. O'Neill's - LATER THAT DAY  
  
ROBBIE takes three plates of food from the kitchen window. Balancing two on one arm and taking the third in his other hand, he walks over to where JOANIE and SYDNEY are seated. He places a salad in front of each of them, a sandwich down for himself and then sits down.  
  
ROBBIE  
So, how long do you think Aunt Joan is planning on staying?  
  
SYDNEY  
I don't know. Dad didn't say.  
  
JOANIE  
Not long I hope!  
  
SYDNEY  
You know, I've been thinking about this and I really think we should make and effort to be nice to her. She is mom's sister after all.  
  
ROBBIE  
(with a mouthful of food)  
Syd's right. Besides, she is loaded and we are her only heirs.  
  
JOANIE  
You're sick Robbie!  
  
ROBBIE  
Oh come on! Like the thought never crossed your mind!  
  
JOANIE  
Not even once.  
  
SYDNEY  
Guys, I'm serious! She isn't that bad.  
  
JOANIE  
Are you kidding! She was always butting into our business whenever she visited, telling Mom and Dad what they were doing wrong.  
  
ROBBIE  
Joanie's right. If Mom and Dad had listened to her, I would have spent my high school years in a reform school!  
  
JOANIE  
That may have been her only good idea.  
  
ROBBIE  
Shut up Joanie!  
  
JOANIE  
You shut up!  
  
SYDNEY  
Both of you shut up!   
(beat)  
I'm just saying that we should make an effort to be civil to her - for Dad's sake. I mean, let's face it. Aunt Joan was never his favorite person. It's not like this is going to be any fun for him either.  
  
JOANIE  
Maybe you're right!  
  
ROBBIE  
(sarcastically)  
Of course she's right! She's Syd!  
  
Sydney gives him a dirty look.  
  
ROBBIE  
Just kidding! Geez, can't you take a joke?  
  
SYDNEY  
Oh, I'm sorry. Was that supposed to be funny?  
  
JOANIE  
All right. All right. God, she isn't even here yet and already she's making us miserable.  
  
  
INT. AIRPORT - AFTERNOON  
  
JIM is standing with AUNT JOAN amidst the flurry of arriving passengers at the airport. Joan is a sophisticated, rather snobbish looking woman, decked out in a fur coat of all things. Beside her stands a sullen looking PORTER who is struggling with a cart loaded down with her numerous bags.  
  
JOAN  
So, how are the kids?   
  
JIM  
They're good. They're not kids any more though. Syd's a doctor. Joanie's a mother...  
  
JOAN  
My, has it been that long?  
  
Jim nods.  
  
JIM  
My car is right outside. Shall we...  
  
JOAN  
Absolutely!  
  
They start walking. The porter follows with the bags.  
  
JOAN  
Jim, I wanted to apologize to you for not returning to Providence after Lynda passed.  
  
JIM  
Don't be. By the time you found out, there was nothing you could have done anyway.  
  
JOAN  
That's not true. I could have...No, I should have been here for you and the kids.  
  
JIM  
Joan, please don't worry about it.  
  
They approach a sliding glass door and step out to...  
  
EXT. AIRPORT - CONTINUOUS  
  
Joan shivers and pulls her coat tightly around her.  
  
JOAN  
Oh, I had forgotten how chilly it can be in Providence this time of year.  
  
JIM  
Yes, it can be.  
(touching her arm)  
That coat looks pretty warm though. Is that real mink?  
  
JOAN  
Yes. Isn't it absolutely gorgeous. I picked it up in London.  
  
The porter walking behind her, rolls his eyes in disgust as she continues...  
  
JOAN  
Cost a pretty penny too.  
  
JIM  
Well, I'm glad to see they don't come cheap!  
  
JOAN  
(realizing)  
Oh Jim! I'm so sorry. How insensitive of me. I totally forgot you're one of those...those animal lover types aren't you?  
  
Jim laughs at the absurdity of her question.  
  
JIM  
Yes, well, I'm a veterinarian. It kind of comes with the territory!  
  
JOAN  
Of course. How silly of me. I'll take it off.  
  
She stops abruptly and the Porter bumps into her from behind with the cart.  
  
JOAN  
Ow! Will you watch where you're going?  
  
PORTER  
(lacking sincerity)  
Sorry.  
  
Jim stifles a laugh. Joan starts removing her coat.  
  
JIM  
Joan, don't be ridiculous. It's freezing. Leave your coat on!  
  
JOAN  
(pulling her coat back on)  
Well, all right. But as soon as we get to the house it's going right in my garment bag and it's not coming out until I leave.  
  
JIM  
Whatever you say.  
  
INT O'NEIL'S - AFTERNOON  
  
ROBBIE is talking on the phone with Tina as TOMMY stands nearbye putting away glasses.  
  
ROBBIE  
I won't be home till later tonight. I forgot that I promised Joanie I would watch Hannah while she goes out. But I'll make it up to you when I get home. I promise.  
(listening)  
OK thanks. Love you too. Bye.  
  
He hangs up the phone.  
  
TOMMY  
I thought your aunt was visiting tonight?  
  
ROBBIE  
She is.  
  
TOMMY  
So why did you tell Tina you have to babysit? Aren't you going to introduce you her to you aunt?  
  
ROBBIE  
No way! I happen to love this girl. Why on earth would I inflict that kind of torture on her?  
  
Tommy laughs.  
  
ROBBIE  
I'm serious man. Hopefully, Aunt Joan will be out of here in a couple days and the two will never have to meet  
  
TOMMY  
Well good luck.  
  
ROBBIE  
Thank you.  
  
TOMMY  
I think you're gonna need it.  
  
  
  
INT. HANSEN DINING ROOM - NIGHT  
  
JOANIE walks into the DINING ROOM with and armful of plates and silverware. JOAN follows behind her.  
  
JOAN  
Are you sure I can't help you Joanie.  
  
JOANIE  
I'm fine Aunt Joan. You've had a long trip. Why don't you sit and relax for a while.  
  
JOAN  
I've been sitting all day. I'm tired of sitting. At least let me help with the silver.  
  
Joan takes the silverware from Joanie and begins placing it around the plates that Joanie has set.  
  
JOAN  
So, will Hannah's father be joining us for dinner tonight?  
  
JOANIE  
No, He and Chris won't be able to make it down from Portsmouth at all this week.  
  
JOAN  
(confused)  
Chris?  
  
JOANIE  
Yes, Chris - His wife.  
  
Joanie places the last plate on the table and heads into the kitchen. Joan follows.  
  
INT. HANSEN KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS  
  
JOAN  
Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed you and he were...  
  
JOANIE  
Together? No,we're not.  
  
At the kitchen counter, Joanie starts chopping up ingredients for a salad.  
  
JOANIE  
(Continuing)  
We were going to get married. Twice in fact. But it didn't work out. We just realized that we weren't meant for each other.  
  
Joan picks up a tomato from the counter and rolls it in the palms of her hands adding...  
  
JOAN  
In my day, that was something a couple would figure out before they had a child together!  
  
Furious, Joanie snatches the tomato from her Aunt's hands and snaps...  
  
JOANIE  
Yes, well, times have changed!  
  
JOAN  
They certainly have!  
  
Joanie chops away furiously at the lettuce as Joan continues...  
  
JOAN  
Nowadays, children living at home with both their parents is considered abnormal. You see, that is the problem with todays society. Family values have gone right out the window.  
  
Furious, Joanie opens her mouth to object but is interrupted by SYDNEY, who enters through the back door.  
  
SYDNEY  
Hello! Hello!  
  
JOAN  
(excitedly)  
Oh my goodness! Sydney! Look at you!  
  
Joan rushes over to Sydney and gives her hug.  
  
JOAN  
Well, you are even more beautiful than I remember!  
  
Joanie rolls her eyes.  
  
SYDNEY  
Oh, Aunt Joan, stop!  
  
JOANIE  
Yes! Please stop!  
  
JOAN  
Oh, but it's true. Just look at you. Why I bet you have adoring men just falling at your feet.  
  
JOANIE  
Oh, you couldn't be more right about that. Why don't you fill her in Syd?  
  
Sydney flashes Joanie a warning look before replying...  
  
SYDNEY  
Well, I wouldn't want to bore her.  
  
JOANIE  
Bore her!   
(to Joan)  
Nothing about Syds love life is boring, let me tell you. She has quite the track record!  
  
SYDNEY  
JOANIE!  
  
JOANIE  
Syd has has the most exciting love life of anyone I know! I mean I thought dating Paul Ritigliato was a bit scandalous but...  
  
JOAN  
Ritigliato? He wouldn't be related to...  
  
JOANIE  
Uh huh. He sure would. But I think he is the witness protection program or something now.  
  
Joan gasps.  
  
SYDNEY  
He is not!  
(Turing to Joan)  
He is not.  
  
JOANIE  
But of course now she is seeing Joe Connolly.  
  
JOAN  
The Congressman?  
  
JOANIE  
Yep. Course they have to keep it kinda low key. At least until he divorces his wife!  
  
SYDNEY  
Joanie!  
  
JOAN  
You know what girls? I am starting to feel a little tired. I think I'm going to go lie down for a little while.  
  
JOANIE  
(happily)  
OK! I'll call you when dinner is ready.  
  
Joan walks out of the room.  
  
SYNDEY  
What is your problem!  
  
JOANIE  
(innocently)  
What?  
  
SYDNEY  
You know what! You ambushed me!  
  
JOANIE  
Oh, you're just upset because I tarnished Joan's squeaky clean image of you! I realize it must come as a shock to your system to have someone think you are less than perfect, but you'll get used to it.  
  
SYDNEY  
Speaking from experience are we?  
  
Joanie gives her sister of look of utter hatred. Sydney turns around and storms out of the house, slamming the door behind her.  
  
FADE OUT  
  
ACT 2  
  
FADE IN:  
  
INT. HANSEN KITCHEN - MORNING  
  
JOANIE is at the stove preparing breakfast as JOAN and ROBBIE stand at the counter. Joan has one arm around Robbie. He stands there stiffly as she kisses him repeatedly on the cheek, making exaggerated smacking noises as she does so.  
  
JOAN  
Ooh, I just cannot get over how grown up you are! Why, the last time I saw you, you were just a little boy.  
  
ROBBIE  
(quizzically)  
I was eighteen.  
  
JOANIE  
(laughing)  
And yet that description is still so accurate!  
  
Sitting at the kitchen table, JIM looks up from his morning newspaper and laughs.  
  
ROBBIE  
Hah, Hah, very funny.  
  
JOAN  
(to Robbie)  
Oh, don't you listen to her. You are such a handsome young man. You know, you remind me of your father thirty years ago.  
  
JIM  
Actually, I always thought Robbie looked more like his mother.  
  
Joanie walks over to the counter and hands Robbie a plate of food which he promptly passes to his aunt.  
  
ROBBIE  
You know what? I don't really have time for breakfast this morning. I'm late for work.  
  
JOAN  
It's only eight o'clock. The bar opens this early?  
  
ROBBIE  
(thinking quickly)  
No, but... Friday mornings we do inventory!  
  
He manages to wriggle out of her grasp before she can plant another kiss on him and hurries out of the room.  
  
JOANIE  
(wiping her hands on a towel)  
I should get going too. I have to get Hannah ready for school.  
  
Joanie walks out.   
  
Joan walks over and sits down at the table next to Jim.  
  
JOAN  
Well, those two haven't changed a bit. I see Joanie still likes to give Robbie a hard time.   
  
JIM  
(smiling)  
Are you kidding? I think she lives for it.  
  
INT. HALLWAY OF HANSEN HOUSE - SAME  
  
Joanie, walking toward the stairway, suddenly stops and heads back toward the kitchen.  
  
JOANIE  
(to herself)  
Shoot! I forgot Hannah's sweater.  
  
As she nears the kitchen, she stops and listens as Jim and Joans voices can be heard...  
  
JOAN (OS)  
Still sharp as a tack too! Such a bright girl. It's a shame you and Lynda let her drop out of college like that.  
  
INT. KITCHEN - SAME  
  
JIM  
(defensively)  
It's not like we were happy about it. But it was her decision. We couldn't make her go!  
  
JOAN  
I suppose you're right. It's just a shame is all. She had such potential...  
  
INT. HALLWAY HANSEN HOUSE - SAME  
  
Joanie continues to listen with a devastated look on her face.  
  
JOAN (OS)  
...and it breaks my heart to think of her wasting her life making dog biscuits and kitty kibble!  
  
Crushed, Joanie turns and hurries down the hallway and up the stairs.  
  
INT. HANSEN KITCHEN - SAME  
  
JIM  
Joan, why don't you do us both a favor and wait until you've actually seen Joanie's business before you pass judgment on it- Alright! Now, if you will excuse me, I have to get to work.  
  
Jim gets up and leaves Joan sitting there-alone.  
  
INT. ST. CLAIRES - DAY  
  
  
A YOUNG BOY (CHARLIE) sits on the exam table holding a towel to his bleeding forehead as HIS MOTHER (MRS. MORENO) paces nervously in front of him.  
  
SYDNEY pulls back the curtain.  
  
SYDNEY  
Hi, I'm doctor Hansen.  
  
MRS. MORENO  
Hi, I'm Pamela Moreno and this is my son Charlie.  
  
SYDNEY  
Hi Charlie.  
  
He doesn't respond.  
  
SYDNEY  
Looks like you have quite a gash there on your forehead. Mind if I take a look?  
  
Charlie lowers his hand and Sydney examines his head.  
  
SYDNEY  
Yeah, that's going to need some stitches. How did you do this?  
  
MRS. MORENO  
He was fighting again! This is the second time this week I have gotten called out of work because of his fighting.  
(To Charlie)  
I'm going to lose my job Charlie. Do you understand? You have to stop this now!  
  
SYDNEY  
Mrs. Moreno, I think Patrice has some forms for you fill out so why don't you take a minute to do that...  
  
MRS. MORENO  
Of course. I'm sorry! You must think I'm a complete lunatic carrying on like that. I'm just so frustrated!  
  
SYDNEY  
(sympathetically)  
I understand.  
  
MRS. MORENO  
(hesitating)  
All right then. Charlie-You behave!  
  
She walks away.  
  
SYDNEY  
Your mom seems pretty upset.  
  
CHARLIE  
Gee, ya think?  
  
SYDNEY  
Do you wanna tell me what you were fighting about?   
  
CHARLIE  
Not really.  
  
SYDNEY  
Sometimes it helps to talk about it.  
  
He doesn't respond but picks nervously at his fingers.  
  
SYDNEY  
You know, I have a little brother. Actually, I should say younger because he's not so little any more. You kind of remind me of him when he was your age. He got in a lot of fights too. Drove my parents crazy.  
  
Charlie squirms in his seat, clearly uncomfortable.  
  
SYDNEY  
(Continuing)  
Of course, in his mind he always had a good reason. So...  
(giving him a gentle nudge)  
...what's your story, huh?  
  
CHARLIE  
I hate school.  
  
SYDNEY  
OK, that's a start. Why do you hate school?  
  
CHARLIE  
Because the kids there are stupid! All they talk about all day is Harry Potter!  
  
SYDNEY  
Is he a classmate?  
  
CHARLIE  
What are you stupid or something! Harry Potter is a storybook character!  
  
SYDNEY  
Oh, sorry. So, you were fighting over a storybook character?  
  
CHARLIE  
Harry Potter is stupid and I told them so. Joey DeSoto said I was stupid so I punched him.  
  
SYDNEY  
Seems kind of silly to fight over a storybook. Don't you think?  
  
CHARLIE  
No!  
  
SYDNEY  
Well, have you read the stories? You might actually like them? They must be good if all the kids...  
  
CHARLIE  
No! I haven't read them! I can't read OK!  
  
Sydney is speechless.  
  
CHARLIE  
I have Dis...Dis  
  
SYDNEY  
Dislexia?  
  
CHARLIE  
Yeah.  
  
SYNDEY  
I'm sorry Charlie, that must be really tough for you but...  
  
CHARLIE  
(bitterly)  
What are you my shrink now? Look, can we get this over with.  
(He point to his bleeding forehead)  
I want to go home.  
  
SYDNEY  
Sure.  
  
Sydney gives Charlie a sympathetic pat on the back before she starts tending to the gash on his forehead.  
  
  
INT. VET CLINIC-DAY  
  
HEATHER is sitting behind the desk.   
  
JOAN enters.  
  
HEATHER  
Good morning! Can I help you?  
  
JOAN  
Yes, I'm Joan Wheelock, Jim's sister-in-law.  
  
HEATHER  
Oh, of course! Dr. Hansen has told me so much about you. It's nice to finally meet you.  
  
Heather thrust her hand forward to shake Joan's hand, knocking over a pencil holder in the process.  
  
HEATHER  
Oh! I am so sorry!  
  
JOAN  
That's all right...I'm sorry I didn't catch your name.  
  
HEATHER  
(picking up pencils)  
Heather. Heather Tupperman. Gosh, I am such a klutz.  
  
JOAN  
It's very nice to meet you Heather. So, is he here?  
  
HEATHER  
Is who here?  
  
JOAN  
(laughing)  
Jim!  
  
Heather looks toward the back room and then back at Joan.  
  
HEATHER  
No, actually he's not. He had to make a house call.  
  
JOAN  
Oh, that's too bad.   
(beat)  
Well maybe I will swing by O'Neill's then and see how my nephew spends his day.  
  
HEATHER  
I'm sure Robbie will be happy as a clam to see you.  
  
JOAN  
Well I hope so. Thank you Heather. It was nice to meet you.  
  
HEATHER  
Likewise.  
  
Joan turns and walks out.   
  
When she is gone, JIM emerges from the back room.  
  
JIM  
Quick thinking Heather. Thanks for covering for me.  
  
HEATHER  
Any time Dr. Hansen.  
  
JIM  
Maybe you should call Robbie and give him a heads up.  
  
HEATHER   
Good idea.  
  
Heather picks up the phone and starts dialing...  
  
INT. O'NEILL'S BAR- SAME  
  
ROBBIE and TINA are sitting at the bar.  
  
ROBBIE  
So, I was thinking since Pete is going to be at his Dad's next weekend, maybe you and I could have a little romantic getaway of our own.  
  
TINA  
What did you have in mind?  
  
O.S PHONE RINGS  
  
ROBBIE  
Well, I was thinking we could go to Newport and...  
  
BARTENDER  
Robbie! Telephone!  
  
TINA  
Ooh, hold that thought.  
  
ROBBIE  
I'll be right back.  
  
Robbie walks behind the bar and picks up the phone.  
  
ROBBIE  
Hello?  
...Oh, hi Heather.  
(he listens, then sighs)  
...Thanks Heather. I owe you-big time!  
  
He hangs up the phone and hurries back to Tina.  
  
ROBBIE  
(anxiously)  
You know what? Let's go some place else.  
  
TINA  
What? Why?  
  
ROBBIE  
Well, I have this sudden craving for Tai food and besides, we eat here all the time!  
  
TINA  
But Robbie, I only have an hour before I have to be back at the garage.  
  
ROBBIE  
(pulling out her chair and helping her up)  
That's plenty of time. But we have to hurry. Let's go.  
  
TINA  
Robbie! Are you all right? You are acting really weird?  
  
ROBBIE  
I'm fine! But like you said, you only have an hour so let's go.  
  
TINA  
(grabbing for her jacket)  
All right. I'm coming.  
  
  
INT ST. CLAIRE'S CLINIC - DAY  
  
SYDNEY is applying a bandage to CHARLIE'S forehead as MRS. MORENO looks on.  
  
SYNDEY  
OK. That should do it. Now you'll need to come back in a week to have those stitches taken out.  
  
MRS. MORENO  
Thank you Dr. Hansen. Charlie, what do you say?  
  
CHARLIE  
Thanks.  
  
SYDNEY  
You're very welcome Charlie.  
(turning to Mrs. Moreno)  
Mrs. Moreno, could I talk to you for just a minute.  
  
MRS. MORENO  
Sure. Charlie, why don't you go wait for me out front.  
  
Charlie hops down off the table and walks away. Sydney watches him until he disappears around a corner and then turns to his mother.  
  
SYDNEY  
Mrs. Moreno, Charlie told me he can't read.  
  
MRS. MORENO  
He can read. Not at the level of the other students but, he can read. His teachers say he is really making progress. He just gets frustrated you know?   
(beat)  
And kids can be so cruel sometimes.  
  
SYDNEY  
Isn't there more that the school can do for him?  
  
MRS. MORENO  
(Shaking her head)  
There are thirty students in Charlie's class. I've met his teacher and she is a wonderful woman but, she can't give Charlie the kind of one-on-one attention that he needs. He is taken out of class once a day but he hates it. It makes him feel different.  
  
SYDNEY  
Maybe private tutoring would be more beneficial. I would be happy to help you find a tutor for him.  
  
MRS. MORENO  
Dr. Hansen, I know that you are trying to help but, I am a single mother. I can't afford a private tutor. I work two jobs just to put food on the table for us. His teachers send home excercises for us to work on together and I don't even have the time to help him.  
(Looking down in shame)  
That must sound awful to you.  
  
SYDNEY  
No, Mrs. Moreno. I'm sure you are doing the best you can.  
  
MRS. MORENO  
Yes well, unfortunately for my son, my best just isn't good enough.  
  
She turns and walks away leaving Sydney standing there feeling useless.  
  
  
  
INT. BARKERY - DAY  
  
Joanie is behind the counter arranging trays of dog treats. ELLIOT, who is in the front sweeping, watches her curiously as she literally throws dog treats from the baking sheet to the trays. After a moment, he walks over to the counter.  
  
ELLIOT  
Gee, I hope it's not contagious!  
  
JOANIE  
What?  
  
ELLIOT  
Your mood. You know you've broken half of those treats. We can't sell them like that!  
  
JOANIE  
(throwing the spatula down)  
Do you want to do it?  
  
ELLIOT  
JOANIE! What's wrong with you?  
  
JOANIE  
Nothing! I'm sorry I didn't realize I was required to be in a good mood all the time!  
  
She turns and storms off to the back room.  
  
ELLIOT  
Joanie! Wait a minute!  
  
The DOORBELL RINGS as JOAN enters through the front door.   
  
Elliot takes one more look toward the back room before walking over to her.  
  
ELLIOT  
Good morning! Welcome to the Barkery!  
  
JOAN  
Thank you.  
(Looking around)  
My what an interesting place you have here.  
  
ELLIOT   
Thank you. We like it.  
(under his breath)  
Usually.  
(To Joan)  
What can I get for you?  
  
JOAN  
Actually, I'm here to see Joanie. I'm sorry, I didn't properly introduce myself.  
(extending her hand)  
I'm Joan Wheelock. Joanie's Aunt.  
  
ELLIOT  
(shaking her hand)  
Well hello! How very nice to meet you. Joanie didn't mention you were in town. I'm Elliot, Joanie's second in command so to speak.  
  
JOAN  
Nice to meet you Elliot.  
  
Elliot looks nervously toward the back room.  
  
ELLIOT  
Well, why don't I go and see if I can track down Joanie for you. Can I offer you some coffee or something to eat while you wait?  
  
JOAN  
No, thank you dear. I'm fine.  
  
ELLIOT  
All right then. I will be right back.  
  
Elliot walks to...  
  
BACK ROOM OF JOANIE'S BARKERY - CONTINUOUS  
  
JOANIE is sitting on stack of flour bags, sulking.  
  
ELLIOT  
(Cautiously)  
Joanie?  
  
JOANIE  
What Elliot?  
  
ELLIOT  
Your aunt is out front.  
  
JOANIE  
What! Oh my hell! What is she doing here?  
  
ELLIOT  
Well, I imagine she wants to see you.  
JOANIE  
Well, tell her to go away!  
  
ELLIOT  
I will do no such thing! That's rude!  
  
Joanie jumping up so that she is right in Elliot's face.  
  
JOANIE  
Fine! Then tell her I'm not here! Just get rid of her!  
  
Joanie pushes past Elliot and goes into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.  
  
FADE OUT  
  
ACT 3  
  
FADE IN:  
  
INT. HANSEN KITCHEN -AFTERNOON  
  
ROBBIE and SYDNEY are sitting at the kitchen table talking as Robbie eats and afternoon snack.  
  
SYDNEY  
...this poor kid has no friends and his classmates are just horribly mean to him.  
  
ROBBIE  
Man, that sucks. Kids can be brutal at that age.  
  
SYDNEY  
Yeah, tell me about it.  
(hesitantly)  
You know, he's about the same age as Pete. I was thinking maybe I could introduce them?  
  
ROBBIE  
That's a thought.  
  
SYDNEY  
Pete's such a great kid and if Charlie had just one friend, just one person to hang out with, even if he wasn't a classmate, I think it would make all the difference.  
  
ROBBIE  
I'll tell you what. I'll talk to Pete and let you know. I'm sure he will be cool with it. Like you said, he's a great kid.  
  
SYDNEY  
Thanks Rob.  
  
ROBBIE  
No prob.  
  
Sydney walks out the back door as Robbie turns his attention back to his snack.  
  
INT. HANSEN'S FRONT HALLWAY - SAME  
  
JOAN is walking down the stairs just as the DOORBELL RINGS. She rushes to answer it. TINA and PETE are standing there. Tina looks surprised to see a stanger answer the door.  
  
TINA  
Hi. Is Robbie here?  
  
JOAN  
(Looking behind her)  
Somewhere, I think. Can I tell him who is here?  
  
TINA  
(Confused)  
I'm his fiancée, Tina and this is my son Pete. And you are?  
  
JOAN  
Joan Wheelock, Robbie's aunt.  
  
TINA  
That's funny. Robbie didn't mention his Aunt was in town.  
  
JOAN  
Not nearly as funny as him not mentioning he was engaged.  
  
Tina laughs nervously as ROBBIE appears in the hallway.  
  
ROBBIE  
Tina!   
  
Tina and Joan both glare at Robbie as he approaches them.  
  
PETE  
(Laughing)  
Busted!  
  
Tina jerks on Pete's arm.  
  
TINA  
Quiet Petey!  
  
ROBBIE  
Hi sweetie. What are you doing here?  
  
TINA  
Well, Petey got an "A" on his math test so I was going to take him to Dream Machine for dinner and we thought you might like to join us.  
  
ROBBIE  
Good for you Pete. I'd love to go. Let me just grab my jacket and...  
  
TINA  
(angrily)  
Robbie! Aren't you forgetting something!  
  
She looks at Joan.  
  
ROBBIE  
(nonchalantly)  
Oh, right. Tina, Pete, this is my Aunt Joan. Aunt Joan this is my fiancée Tina and her son Pete.  
  
JOAN  
(sternly)  
Yes, I know. She already introduced herself. Now, I won't embarrass you further by asking you to explain why you didn't introduce us earlier. We will talk about this later though.  
(Turning to Tina and Pete)  
It was very nice to meet the both of you. I hope I'll see you again soon.  
  
Joan walks away. Tina turns to Robbie.  
  
TINA  
We'll talk about this later too. Now, if you are coming with us, get your jacket. We'll be in the car. Come on Pete.  
  
Tina opens the front door and she and Pete walk out. Robbie stands there a moment, dumbfounded and then hurries after her...  
  
EXT. HANSEN HOUSE - SAME  
  
ROBBIE  
Tina wait!  
  
Halfway to their car, Tina and Pete turn around.   
  
ROBBIE  
(To Tina)  
Are you mad?  
  
TINA  
Gee! Ya think?  
  
ROBBIE  
(To PETE)  
Pete, can you go wait in the car. Your mom and I need to talk.  
  
PETE  
Yeah sure.  
  
Pete walks over to the car. Once he is in the car with the door shut, Robbie continues...  
  
ROBBIE  
Look, I know your mad. I'm sorry. I just...  
  
TINA  
Robbie, I just want to know one thing. Are you embarrassed of us?  
  
ROBBIE  
What? No! Why would you say that?  
  
TINA  
Well, why wouldn't you tell your Aunt about us then.  
  
ROBBIE  
Because! I'm not embarrassed of you. It's me.  
  
TINA  
What are you talking about?  
  
ROBBIE  
My aunt still thinks of me as that stupid 18 year old kid she knew way back when. She wouldn't approve of me getting married and becoming a father and it's not because of you. It's because she thinks I'm irresponsible and immature and I don't want to hear it.  
  
TINA  
That's ridiculous. You're not irresponsible or immature.  
  
ROBBIE  
Well, I think there are a few people who would disagree with you.  
  
Tina smiles and moves in closer to Robbie, wrapping her arms around his waist.  
  
TINA  
Well, since you are going to be helping me raise my child, I would say that my opinion is the one you should be concerned about and I'm not complaining.  
  
Robbie smiles as Tina leans in to kiss him. Before their lips can touch, they are interrupted by Pete who is leaning out the car window...  
  
PETE  
Have you guys made up yet so we can go? I'm starving.  
  
Robbie and Tina laugh then head off to the car.  
  
EXT. PATIO OF JOANIE'S BARKERY - DAY  
  
JOANIE is sitting alone at a table. She looks deep in thought as she sips her coffee. ELLIOT sits down next to her.  
  
ELLIOT  
A penny for your thoughts.  
  
JOANIE  
I'm sorry...what?  
  
ELLIOT  
You look so deep in thought. Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?  
  
Joanie pauses a moment, contemplating Elliots offer before responding...  
  
JOANIE  
Elliot, do you think I'm wasting my talents here?  
  
ELLIOT  
No, why would you say that?  
  
Joanie shrugs.  
  
ELLIOT  
Joanie, you are a very savy business woman. Not just anyone could make a unique business like this one work but you've done it!  
  
JOANIE  
Would you mind telling that to my aunt.  
  
ELLIOT  
So is that what this is all about - your aunt?  
  
JOANIE  
She thinks I'm a failure - that my business is a joke.  
  
ELLIOT  
I doubt that.  
  
JOANIE  
No, she really does. But you know what? At this point, I really don't care. I am so sick of trying to prove myself all the time. I have accepted the fact that I will never be as smart as Sydney or as adorable as Robbie.  
  
ELLIOT  
Well so what! You're not Sydney or Robbie. You are Joanie and I happen to think you are not only adorable and smart but you are one of the most friendly people I know!  
  
Joanie smiles modestly.  
  
ELLIOT  
(continuing)  
You've got tons of spunk and fabulous fashion sense...  
  
Joanie laughs as Elliot reaches over and tickles her.  
  
ELLIOT  
And what about that sense of humor huh?  
  
JOANIE  
OK! OK!  
ELLIOT  
(seriously)  
The point is, you are perfect just the way you are Joanie Hansen and if your aunt can't see that, then who needs her!  
  
Joanie hugs Elliot.  
  
JOANIE  
I love you Elliot. You're the best!  
  
ELLIOT  
Right back at ya kid!  
  
INT. DREAM MACHINE (ARCADE & RESTAURANT)- NIGHT  
  
ROBBIE, TINA and PETE are sitting in a booth finishing their meals.  
  
TINA  
OK Petey, finish up and you can play a few more games with your friends before it's time to go.  
ROBBIE  
Hey Pete, do you know a kid that goes to your school...  
(thinking)  
Charlie Moreno?  
  
PETE  
(rolling his eyes)  
Yeah.  
  
ROBBIE  
Why did you say it like that?  
  
PETE  
Because he's a doofas that's why!  
  
ROBBIE  
HEY!  
  
TINA  
Pete! That's not nice!  
  
PETE  
Well he is. He is in the fourth grade and he can't even read...  
(chuckling)  
and he calls us stupid!  
  
ROBBIE  
That's enough! Do you know that the reason that he can't read is that he has a learning disability? Did you?  
  
Pete shakes his head.  
  
ROBBIE  
(continuing)  
Instead of making fun of him you should admire him because he has to work a lot harder understand things at school than you do and that's a fact!!  
  
There is silence as Pete shrinks down in his seat-ashamed. After a moment of silence, he speaks.  
  
PETE  
Sorry.  
(beat)  
Can I go play now?  
  
Tina opens her mouth to speak but Robbie beats her to it...  
  
ROBBIE  
No you may not. I'm very disappointed in you right now and I think the rest of your night would be better spent thinking about what I just said. Now go say goodbye to your friends.  
  
Pete looks to his mother.  
  
TINA  
You heard him.  
  
Pete throws his napkin down in a huff and leaves the table. Robbie looks at Tina - unsure of how she will react to the way he just disciplined her son.  
  
ROBBIE  
I'm sorry. I probably just way over stepped my bounds.  
  
TINA  
Not at all, Robbie. I'm impressed. You handled that very well.  
  
ROBBIE  
(surprised)  
Really?  
  
TINA  
Uh huh! And you know what else. If your Aunt had seen that, she wouldn't have any doubts about your ability to be a good father.  
  
As a triumphant Robbie smiles and leans in to kiss his fiancée...  
  
INT HANSEN KITCHEN - EVENING  
  
JIM sits at the counter eating a late and lonely dinner. JOAN enters.  
  
JOAN  
Oh there you are. Where is everyone? This house is like a ghost house.  
  
JIM  
It's definitely quiet.  
  
Joan takes a seat beside Jim. He looks less than thrilled.  
  
JOAN  
So, how come no one told me Robbie was engaged?  
  
JIM  
Maybe because it's none of your business.  
  
Joan is taken back by Jims uncharacteristically rude response.  
  
JIM  
(continuing)  
Do you want to know why it is so quiet in this house? I'll tell you why. Because the kids are trying to avoid you.  
  
JOAN  
Well, what on heavens earth for?  
  
JIM  
Well, let me see. Within an hour of your arrival, you managed to make Joanie feel like a total failure, not to mention you alienated her from her sister...  
  
JOANIE  
How did I make Joanie feel like a failure?  
  
JIM  
See that's just it! You so used to to be condescending and overbearing, you don't even realize you're doing it. And you wonder why the kids are hiding from you!  
  
Jim throws his napkin down on the counter and storms off leaving Joan sitting there alone...  
  
  
  
FADE OUT  
  
  
ACT 4  
  
FADE IN:  
  
INT. HANSEN KITCHEN - MORNING  
  
JOANIE is at the kitchen counter, cutting up bananas for Hannah's cereal. She is unusually cheerful and hums as she works. HANNAH sits in booster chair anxiously awaiting her breakfast as SYDNEY enters through the back door.  
  
SYDNEY  
Hey.  
  
JOANIE  
Hey Syd.  
  
SYDNEY  
I'm glad you're here. I wanted to apologize for what happened the other day.  
  
Joanie comes around the counter and sits down next to Hannah and hands her her food.  
  
JOANIE  
Oh, forget it. I'm totally over it. I've decided I'm not going to let Aunt Joan get to me any more and I'm certainly not going to let her come between you and me. It's not worth it.  
  
SYDNEY  
Well, that's a great attitude Joanie.  
  
JOANIE  
Yes, well I have a great assistant who helped me see the light. Besides, she's leaving tonight so all we have to do is get through this barbecue dad's planned for today and life will be back to normal.  
  
SYDNEY  
Is life ever "normal" in this family?  
  
Joanie laughs.  
  
SYDNEY  
Hey, I wonder if Robbie will show up.  
  
JOANIE  
Why wouldn't he?  
  
SYDNEY  
Oh, you didn't hear what happened last night?  
  
Joanie leans in to get the gossip.  
  
JOANIE  
No, what happened last night?  
  
SYDNEY  
Well, Tina and Pete showed up and met Aunt Joan before Robbie had a chance to intervene.  
  
JOANIE  
NO! And Robbie didn't tell her about his engagement did he?  
  
SYDNEY  
Nope!  
  
JOANIE  
Damn! I always miss the good stuff.  
  
SYDNEY  
Well, I missed it too but from what I heard, Robbie is in the doghouse with both Aunt Joan and Tina.  
  
JOANIE  
Oh, I feel so bad for him. NOT!! Maybe Joan will get off my case now.  
  
SYDNEY  
We should all be so lucky.  
(beat)  
Well, I'll be back. Tell dad I may be bringing some guests to the barbecue.  
  
JOANIE  
Really? Who?  
  
SYDNEY  
Just some friends. See ya later.  
  
As Sydney exits...  
Cut to:  
  
EXT. HANSEN BACKYARD-LATER THAT DAY  
  
JIM is at the grill cooking as ROBBIE runs around the yard with PETE and HANNAH.  
  
JOAN is sitting on a lawn chair as TINA approaches with a plate of chips and dip.  
  
TINA  
Joan, can I interest you in some chips and dip?  
  
JOAN  
Thank you dear. I would love some.  
  
Tina hands her a napkin as JOANIE walks by and informs them...  
  
JOANIE  
There is plenty more food in the house so, eat up.  
  
As Joanie heads into the house for more food, Joan gets up and follows her.  
  
INT. HANSEN KITCHEN-SAME  
  
JOAN  
Joanie, could I talk to you for a minute?  
  
JOANIE  
(Cautiously)  
Um...Sure. Why not?  
  
JOAN  
I have something that I wanted to give to you. I wanted to do it in private.  
  
She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a ring box and hands it to Joanie.  
  
JOANIE  
What is this?  
JOAN  
Open it.  
  
Joanie opens the box to reveal a beautiful gold ring with three birthstones in it.  
  
JOANIE  
It's beautiful.  
  
JOAN  
It's a "mothers ring". Your grandfather had it made for your mother shortly after Robbie was born. It has your all of your birthstones in it.   
  
JOANIE  
(examining it)  
Oh yeah!  
  
JOAN  
(with a hint of sadness)  
He had hoped to reconcile with your mother and give her that ring but he never quite worked up the nerve. Then of course Lynda passed and he lost his chance, so he gave it to me. Now, I'm giving it to you.  
  
JOANIE  
But why me?  
  
JOAN  
(crying)  
It's a "mother's ring". It was made for a wonderful mother and I think it only appropriate that it go to a wonderful mother.  
  
Cryng, Joanie hugs her aunt.  
  
JOANIE  
Thank you! I'll cherish this forever.  
  
JOAN  
I know you will sweetheart.  
(squeezing her tightly)  
Hannah is such a lucky little girl to have you for a mother.  
  
As Joan and Joanie continue to hug. JIM watches through the back screen door. He smiles before turning and returning to...  
  
EXT. HANSEN BACKYARD -SAME  
  
As ROBBIE, PETE, and HANNAH continue to horse around in the backyard, SYDNEY enters through the back gate with CHARLIE and his MRS. MORENO. They walk over to where JIM and TINA are sitting.  
  
SYDNEY  
Dad, Tina these are my friend Pamela Moreno and her son Charlie.  
  
TINA   
Hello.  
  
JIM  
Welcome.  
  
MRS. MORENO  
I hope we are not intruding.  
  
JIM  
Not at all, the more the merrier.  
  
As JOAN and JOANIE come out of the house...  
  
SYDNEY  
Oh, and this is my Aunt Joan and my sister Joanie.  
  
As they exchange greetings Robbie walks over carrying Hannah with Pete following.  
  
SYDNEY  
...and this is my brother Robbie, my neice Hannah and Charlie, I think you've met Pete.  
PETE  
Hi.  
  
CHARLIE  
(uncomfortable)  
Hi.  
  
ROBBIE  
You know Charlie, Pete and I were just about to play some catch. We would love it if you would join us.  
  
CHARLIE  
I don't have my glove.  
  
PETE  
That's OK. I got an extra one you can use.  
  
CHARLIE  
(smiling)  
OK.  
  
Robbie hands Hannah to Joanie.  
  
ROBBIE  
Well alrighty then. Let's play some ball.  
  
PETE  
Come on Charlie. My glove is in the car.  
  
As the boys rush off...  
  
ROBBIE  
Ah, hold up guys the cars locked.  
  
Tina smiles and hands Robbie the car keys. As Robbie hurries after the boys Sydney adds...  
  
SYDNEY  
Thanks Rob.  
  
ROBBIE  
No problem.  
  
SYDNEY  
(to Mrs Moreno)  
So, you hungry?  
  
MRS. MORENO  
Starved!  
  
SYDNEY  
Come on. Let's get some food!  
  
TINA  
I'm getting kinda hungry too.  
  
JOANIE  
Yeah, we might as well eat while the rugrats are temporarily occupied.  
  
As the ladies head off to the food table, Joan sits down next to Jim.  
  
JOAN  
This is nice. Do you do this a lot.  
  
JIM  
No.  
(he laughs)  
But we should. You're right. This is nice.  
(Beat)  
I overheard you and Joanie in the kitchen a little while ago. That was very nice what you said to her and I know that giving her that ring meant a lot to Joanie. So, thank you.  
  
JOAN  
Well, I meant what I said. Joanie's a wonderful mother. You were right Jim. I have been judgemental and condescending. I'm sorry.  
  
The boys rush back into the yard followed by Robbie.  
  
ROBBIE  
OK guys! Spread out!   
  
Joan smiles as she watches them play.  
  
JOAN  
Robbie's going to make a great father.  
  
JIM  
(proudly)  
Yeah, he's going to do just fine.  
  
Jim looks to Joan and smiles. He then extends his hand to her...  
  
JIM  
Madam, shall we get some food before it's all gone?  
  
JOAN  
(taking his hand)  
Absolutely!  
  
As the two head off to the food table to join the other's...   
  
FADE OUT  
  
  
  
  
  
  
2 


End file.
